falling.....back

de feeling is back again...the same way i'd felt when papa was admitted...the same way i'd felt when papa first came home..

i lost interest in most things, avoided meeting up people...n slowly, i cut down on talking..

'are u ok?' some may ask....a smile covers it all..

either i'm lazy to get out and meet frens or i'm just plain avoiding..dun want to talk about it. ..and i dun like being asked if i am ok. who de hell will really tell u that he or she is not ok?

at times before i hit de pillow, i'd thought of papa....and then i'll sniffle myself to slp...

the house can get really quiet with just mama and me...i've to stay home as much as i can to keep her company..but...we can't really get the best of both worlds can we?

everyday start to be like any other day...and i'm starting to feel like a zombie yet again...